Expectation

My former boss and youth pastor use to (and perhaps still does) tell the youth that they needed to come to church with an expectation to hear from God. That we would hear more from God when we came with eager expectation to hear from Him.

I began thinking about this, this Sunday while preparing to go to church. Perhaps the reason I've been getting very little out of church lately is because I'm attending with the expectation to get very little out of church lately.

So this week I went with a band new attitude, visiting a church I haven't been to in awhile (church number... 1? Maybe?). I "put on my happy face", prayed that God would speak to me through this service and came with a heart full of expectation to hear from God.

I'd like to tell you this worked like a magic charm. That I felt God in a powerful way, that I left with new purpose and direction, that God spoke to me distinctly. I'd like to tell you that, but I can't.

I will say that I was more focused and "tuned-in" than I have been for awhile. I was less critical and even asked God to help me curb my sarcastic thoughts (which often run rampant). I did get more from the service than I have recently.

I believe God did hear my prayer and see that I sincerely wanted to hear from Him. But I didn't feel the heavens part or anything.

Maybe you are thinking that is because that "heaven parting" occasion doesn't actually happen. If you thought that, you'd be wrong. I've known those times. Sometimes they are full of emotion and I've ended up literally on my face before God. Sometimes they are crystal clear, a still small voice and I know exactly what God is telling me. It does happen. It didn't this Sunday.

This doesn't mean I didn't learn anything. The pastor spoke of us praying for miracles, but what we really wanted was magic. That "boom" God fixes everything. And that yes, God can do that, but He more often chooses to use us in His miracles. His passage was John 6:1-14 where God uses a small boy's bread and fish to feed thousands. Jesus knew what he was going to do to meet the need of these hungry people, but asked the disciples, "Where are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?"

God wants to use us. We need to be usable. God wants to speak to us. We need to be ready to hear.

To me coming with the expectation to hear from God is a really good thing, but it isn't always enough. It is kinda of like going to take a test having just glanced over the material and asking God to bring to mind what you have learned. Or like a non-athletic person going into a baseball game with a focused and determined attitude, but no practice time. (and yes, I've done both). Your focused-ness may help some, but it doesn't make you a science expert or a baseball pro.

God is not going to withhold Himself from us because of anything we have or have not done. There is no ritual to perform or list of "to do"s to hear from God. He isn't like a human, thank goodness.

However, I do think there are times we keep ourselves from hearing Him.

Am I only trying to hear God on Sunday morning, without seeking Him all week long? Am I expecting diamonds of wisdom from the pastor, but not delving into God's word for myself? Am I expecting church to fix all my problems, without dealing with unforgiveness in my life? These are just my examples... they may be different for other people.

In this blog I've been putting a lot of pressure on the church to step up and be what God has called it to be! I still think that is valid. But I can't make the church as a whole change, even if it needs too. All I can do it try to peruse God with an unwavering passion of my own. To seek Him in all aspects of my life, not just in what church to go to.

In the words of Brother Lawrence's book The Practice of the Presence of God:

"There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful, than that of a continual conversation with God. Those only can comprehend it who practice and experience it."

"It is not necessary for being with God to be always at church; we may make an oratory of our heart, wherein to retire from time to time, to converse with Him in meekness, humility, and love. Every one is capable of such familiar conversation with God..."

TV Land goes to church

"I didn't make it to church this week, because I was sick, but I did watch a lot of tv..."

Recently a few of my favorite shows have gone where TV usually doesn’t dare to go… to church. That’s right, both the musical comedy Glee and my personal favorite witty and sarcastic show Community have dealt with religion in the past few weeks. It has been interesting and frankly a little startling to hear what mainstream media thinks about religion, God and church.

To start with we have Glee’s episode, “Grilled Cheesus” that centers on Kurt, the shows openly gay character, as his father is in the hospital—and on Finn the quarterback, who sees an image of Jesus in his grilled cheese sandwich. If this is already sounding a little sacrilegious to you, hang on.

During the episode Finn believes God hears his prayers because of his grilled cheesus and Kurt is encouraged by friends to turn to God in his time of need.

Kurt’s protest against prayer and going to church made me cringe, “Churches don't think very much of gay people. Or women. Or science.”

At first I was offended, but as I thought about it I couldn’t really fight with that statement. Sure it is a blanket statement that stereotypes Christians, but troughout the years the church has given non-believers reason to think exactly what Kurt thought.

However, what impacted me most about Kurt’s statement was how sad it was! I know Glee is fiction, but how often in real life do you think people turn away from God, the only One who can help them, because the church has shown a united front of hate and judgment rather than love and forgiveness?

John 3:17 “For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.”


Then there is Finn, who views Christianity more as a superstition than a religion... little less as an actual relationship! Again, have we as Christans perpetrated this idea? If I'm good God hears my prayers, if I disobey He punishes me. No wonder Finn thought an image of Jesus in his grilled cheese could be a sign from a God who behaves so much like a human.

Another thing that bothered me about this episode of Glee was the Christian character’s seemingly weak faith. Basically, she thought you should believe in God, believe in something, but she admitted she could be wrong in what she believed.

Glee’s episode on religion overall was moving and a little disconcerting, but had at least one beautiful thing to say about faith. Bitter and sardonic cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester explained why she didn’t believe in God (He let her down by not healing her mentally “handicapable” sister, Jean, or protecting Jean from the mocking of others) but Sue concedes to let her sister pray for her when Jean states “I don’t believe God makes mistakes”. After that conversation with Jean, Sue also stops trying to make the Glee club abandon songs about faith.



Okay, if by some strange chance you are still reading this long post, we move on to Community’s episode, “Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples”. In this episode Shirley, the show’s Christian character, decides to make a YouTube video with a Christian theme when she realizes that only 9 people went to her church the day before and over a 17 million people have watched a YouTube video on farting. That alone is a sobering thought.

However, things go awry when Abed (my favorite character) decides to make the video and places himself in the position of being an actual savior. Yeah that’s right, he begins to act like he is Jesus. *uncomfortable pause* And I thought Jesus on a sandwich was bad.

This show has an unfortunate history of poking fun at any religion as being something weak-minded people believe in. And Shirley’s character is often so fixed on her own beliefs she is completely insensitive to others. For example; after Abed quotes the Bible during a quarrel with Shirley, she asks him, “Did you just Scripture me, Muslim?” (funny though). So the show was going down its usual path with Shirley behaving somewhat “un-Christian” in trying to stop the making of the film and Abed being flat out ridiculous in gathering his followers.

However, again I could hardly blame them. Don’t we as Christians often seem ignorant of others beliefs and self-righteousness in our own? I mean, I do believe that there is only one way to God and that is through Jesus Christ, however there is away to communicate this message with love and wisdom... and the modern church doesn’t always do that.

Matthew 10:16 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.”

The episode did end on good note to me though. As Abed realizes his movie is awful, he prays that God will take it away from him (in a kind of “garden of Gethsemane” scene) and Shirley overhears him. In the end Shirley chooses to look like a villain by destroying Abed’s film. Shirley looks like the bad guy and Abed looks like the victim. She takes the fall to help her friend, but Abed realizes what she’s done for him and they make up. To me this was Shirley finally practicing what she preaches and it ended very sweetly.



Overall TV doesn’t have a lot of good to say about Christians and faith. However, is it Christians that have caused this? If you read the book of Romans about Jews (the religious people of the day) and gentiles (the people without God’s law) and see it as the modern day relation of believers to unbelievers, you see that maybe the world’s opinion of us lays on our shoulders.

Romans 2:24 “As it is written: ‘God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you."

So while I can’t say watching my beloved TV shows mock the things that are my core and basic beliefs, I think it is good for Christian’s to realize what we look like to the outside world. This way we can ask ourselves, “Okay, if the world has a wrong and mostly negative view of believers how much of that is my fault and what can I do about it?”

Yes, as Christians we are going to be persecuted by the world, but let's make sure it is for living as Christ did, not because we deserve it. Maybe it is time that we start presenting the message of Christ as it was intended, as the gospel, as God's "good news".

Is this it?

In one of my earliest church hunting blogs I said something to the effect of, "I don't know what I'm looking for, but I hope to know when I find it". Well, I have come to believe this is a very poor search technique. How can you find anything of value when you don't even know what you are looking for? Chance? I think not.

Then I had to ask myself what am I looking for? Of course this must be keep in the light of not just looking for a church to satisfy me, but where God can best use me. However, I know from experience that if you are serving at a church that isn't compatible it is very hard to serve the Lord very long before getting seriously burnt out and maybe even disillusioned.

So where does this leave me? I need to know what I'm looking for and also be sensitive to where God may be calling me. I want a church that says what it means and means what it says. A church that throws tradition out the freakin' window, but still has good sound doctrine. And I want a church where I can serve, where I can use the gifts God has given me to bring glory to Him!

Yes, I do indeed want to be called by God to where I can serve Him best, but what if I don't feel called anywhere? What if I have visited several good churches filled with people who love the Lord and are serving Him, but I still fill like I could take 'em or leave 'em? In the words of my sister Ryan, "Meh" (accompanied with a shoulder shrug).

I mentioned earlier that serving somewhere you aren't called may leave you disillusioned. Well, that was me a few months ago, burnt out, disillusioned and a little bitter. I feel I'm getting better now, healing up nicely. But that dissolution has morphed into something else, it has become a deep desire to not do church the normal way anymore. To not "do church" at all. I'm not saying I don't want to find a local church body to attend, but I just can't imagine where that would be when most churches I visit (even the great ones) do so much just because... this is what you do at church.

I love tradition. I love that ever year my family cuts down our own Christmas tree. I love that on Birthdays we take pictures holding up enough fingers to show how old that person is. Tradition can be good, comfortable, it can bring people together. However tradition can also become stale, exclusive, and meaningless. Is it me or are churches today filled with meaningless and exclusive traditions? I'm a little afraid that I want something that isn't there.

I was talking to someone the other day and found myself telling them how bored I was with church. Bored with the teaching, the singing, and the staleness. I don't actually think the church I've been going to is stale; it is just feeling that way to me. I feel sacrilegious saying I'm bored with church, but I can't help question, why do all these churches look so much the same? Why can't I hear things in sermons that I haven't heard before? Why can't church be different? There are so many different kinds of people why do all churches just look like variations of each other?

This blog is mostly me just questioning, I really don't have the answers. I know that if what I want in a a church isn't actually available to me that doesn't give me license to forsake Christian fellowship all together.

I think I need to have an extended time of prayer over this. And I know that I am not the only person of my generation that deals with this problem. I know too many Christians not going to church at all, too many people my age giving up on God altogether, to think I'm the only one struggling here. I guess I'd just ask that you pray for us. It is a very confusing out there. Here are all these people like me who feel disconnected by the very institution that is meant to bring us together.

I guess my final question is this: Have people who given up on church “forsaken” the assembly of believers, or has the church “forsaken” these people?

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” Hebrews 10: 23-25

Well Duh

So I realize it has been a little while since I wrote a Church Hunting blog, though I have been blogging haphazard walks for those of you interested.

The reason I've gotten behind on my church hunting blog is that 1) I've been going back to some of the same churches, and didn't really know what to say about them 2) One Sunday I didn't get to go to church at all, though I drove around for over an hour and pulled up to 4 churches... long story (I did go to Target) and 3) Well, because I'm tired. Yeah, excuses excuses.

But now I'm here to update you on my church finding exploits. Namely I think I've found "the one". Kidding, it isn't that extreme, but I have found a church I'm wading a little deeper with. Meaning that I actually went to their "Everything you ever wanted to know about our church and a little you didn't" meeting this Sunday (no, they didn't really call it that... but it would great if they did).

That is exactly what I want. I want a church that is going to lay it all out and say, "Well, here are the things about our church that aren't that wonderful. Thought you should know." Because I am not looking for the perfect church. How can I? Churches are made of people and people mess up.

Anyway, something hit me while attending the "Our church in a nutshell" seminar. The teacher/leader type person said something amazing, I paraphrase;

"It is my personal belief that if you feel called to a particular church it is because there is something you can bring to that church that no one else can. That if God is calling you here, it is so you can do something for Him."

That would be awesome. I've never been the kind of person who just attends church, so I would love for God to lead me to the church in which I would have the most impact for His kingdom.

All of this lead me to a new train of thought. I've been looking for a church that meets my needs, (because let's face it, I'm a needy person). Does this church have what I need? Is this church going to let me down? Do I like it here? Can I trust these people? My brother-in-law even mentioned to me that I needed to put my trust not in people, but in God. I blew that comment off thinking, "Yeah, yeah, but I want to trust the people I go to church with too". (His blog can be found here by the way: http://www.onlythebroken.org/).

Now I'm re-thinking this entire church hunting thing. Maybe instead of praying, "Lord, help me find the right church for me." I should be praying, "Lord, help me to know where you want me to be." It may be that God can best use me at this church whose “Meet-n-greet” meeting I went too. Or maybe I was there to hear those words, "If God is calling you here it is so you can do something for Him".

That is what I really want. I want my life to count for something! And I want God to use me in big ways. I think it was Henry Blackaby who said, "Find out where God is working and join Him." Of course that can be easier said than done, and also God isn't working in just one place. But still it’s a thought to start with.

So as I start visiting churches in a deeper way--going to "All about us" seminars, visiting Life Groups, scouting out where I could serve--I hope to keep my prayer, "Is this where you are calling me to serve you Lord?" Personally I hope He answers in an undeniable, unforgettable way. I'll keep you posted!

Judge A Church By The Cover - A Side Note

Back to the drawing board. Time for a new batch of churches,so how do I find them? I don’t know. The only thing I can think of is cranking up the old Internet search engine.

I am now going to talk about how I judge a church by its website, this may be similar to judging a book by its cover, which I know we are cautioned not to do. However, judging a book by its cover has generally worked for me.

I would like to say these are my opinions and I don’t mean to offend you, your church, or your church web-site… but here we go!

The Cons:

1) The bad website. If I log onto “First Church Of the Bible” and the website looks like it was put together on paintbrush, has blinking coursers, or generally appears to be done for approximately $.75, I immediately hit the back key and return to Google.

This is a church’s first impression. If they can’t even keep up with the current culture by having an up-to date website, why should I think anything in your church is going to meet me where I am? I’m not on board with all “seeker-friendly” churches, but I don’t want “seeker repellent” either.

2) The pastor driven church. I don’t know about other places in the US, but in Texas this is a big ol’ problem. While I may cringe at a website that has a whole tab just for the pastor I could let it go if the church has some pluses that outweigh that. However, if every page I go to on your site has a picture of said pastor of if you keep mentioning him in your text, I am out of there! I am looking for a church, not a pastor with an ego trip.

3) The Pastor/Director discrepancy. Okay, “Christ Baptist Non-Denominational Church” if you have a senior pastor, an associate pastor, a youth pastor and a children’s director. That’s a no.

If you are going to hire a male to be youth “pastor” and a female to do the same job with the children and call her a “director” then we have some hypocrisy here. If you really don’t believe in female pastors, then at least be constant and if a person has the same job call them both directors (though I doubt you’ll find many guys willing to be “youth director”). This however, is a personal preference and I have found that I can't completely discount churches because of it. But I do think it is a point churches should consider. (Most or you just stopped reading, huh?)

4) The crazy and/or vague church beliefs. If the church passes the initial impression test the first thing I do is check out their beliefs page (especially if it is a non-dom, I like non-denominational churches, but some of them are just loco).

If the church can’t nail down its beliefs, has more about where they want to go than what they believe, of generally says craziness— such as “we believe in actual baptism by water and fire”. *gulp* Then sianara to you!

As you can see the four points above severely limit my church selection. However, there is good news too! See below.

The Pros:

1) The welcoming first impression. I love church websites that have an “I’m new” or “What to expect” section. This usually gives me the highlights of what I want to know about a church in one place. Plus, it lets me know that this church understands that many people today look for churches online!

2) The people driven church. A church website that shows they have ministries for kids, youth, college (this is kind of rare), singles (this probably replaces “college”), life groups, women, men, etc… is very attractive. While I know this can be harder for smaller churches I know it isn’t impossible.

On a side note, a church that puts heavy emphases on life groups is really awesome. Since a lot of churches don’t have Sunday school anymore, life groups (or whatever that church calls their equivalent) are really the way to get to know people in a church.

3) The artistic church. This truly is a personal preference and doesn’t rule churches out. But I’m a little artsy myself and the few churches I’ve run across that say something about honoring God through arts makes my heart pitter-patter. Again, this is rare and not a must, but I do like it a lot!

4) The church with solid Biblical beliefs. This is a game changer. A church that sets up its beliefs with scripture verses to back them up hits a home run. When they know what they believe and it really does line up with the word of God then, “Whoo hoo!”

Even if for some other reason I choose not to go to this church or if I visit there a little while and then move on, it is so encouraging to find a church that knows God’s word. This is essential to me. If we don’t have this we have nothing.

Yeah, well this means I have not the foggiest idea of where I’m going next Sunday. But I have two churches I’m going to call this week and grill. I chose not to make this post even longer by listing the questions I’m going to ask potential churches. But I’ve never called before I visit, so it should be… interesting.

Church Homeless

The body of Christ—it is everywhere. It isn’t just in a church building, a small group, a Bible study, or a youth group. It is an undeniable, unbreakable connection we have with all believers—everywhere.

I am a part of the body of Christ with my Christian co-workers. I am part of the body of Christ with my Christian friends. I am part of the body of Christ with my Christian family members. So why do I feel so… homeless, familyless, uh… bodyless?

So last Sunday I re-visited Church #1 with a friend… who I think I will call… Elaine. It was really encouraging to visit a church with a buddy! Driving to and from the church with Elaine and sitting with her during service was much better than being alone. Oh, and I seriously I think more people greeted us during the greet ‘n’ meet since we were two people and not just little ol’ me.

The sermon was about spouses and children, with the usual tag of, “If you are single this is still for you, you’ll need it someday” (Uh… yeah, sure).However, what stood out to me this past Sunday was this whole body of Christ thing. I’m not looking to join the right body. I’m already part of it! So if I drive out 30 minutes to Church #1 or go to a closer church the point (for me) is to find a healthy place of worship. A place where I can get together with part of the body of Christ and we can encourage each other and learn from one another. A place to call home.

However, this thought made me consider how I am treating the body members I already know…

A co-worker of mine has been… grating my nerves, to say it nicely. Now strangely enough if this person was a non-believer I would be more patient with them; they may or may not know better and they certainly don’t have the power of the Holy Spirit to guide them. But since I know this person is a believer, it really ticks me off! I want to look at this person and say, “Treat me with respect or step off. I don’t need you.” However, out of professionalism (not brotherly love) I refrain.

Here I am week after week faithfully looking for a place to call a church home, but then I can’t even treat the Christians already in my life well? Treat and more importantly (for me at least) think of them as if we were all just small parts of a larger whole and need each other. Trust me, sometimes my actions may be polite but my thoughts are in a swirling chaos of sarcasm and insults. Mmmm sarcasm, my weapon of choice.

I want a church home I really do, but maybe right now I’m should use this time to work on other things in my life. Like. I don’t know.... my frustration issues? Also a friend told me this week, that maybe this time of being church homeless is a time for me to rest and heal.

I think my impatience and frustration with believers (I can always think of a way to tear the church down) is because I'm not letting myself... get over some stuff.

Recently I’ve been having a lot of conversations about forgiveness and how you have to forgive to be able to move on. And when it comes to forgiveness in the body of Christ it is extra important. If I stay mad at a co-worker, churches or other Christians— it hurts me! And it is dumb. Does the eye sit around not forgiving the foot? Or does the hand say to the elbow, "I'm not talking to you right now."? I think not.


“The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don't need you!’…. If one part suffers,every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” 1 Corinthians 12:21,26

As grateful as am I for Elaine and not having to visit church alone last Sunday, I also need to appreciate and love the other Christians in my life. In this time of waiting to feel at home again, I need to forgive the Christians in my life who may have hurt me. And I need to trust that God has a plan and that He is doing much greater things than I am aware of.


“He found him in a desert land, And in the howling waste of a wilderness; He encircled him, He cared for him, He guarded him as the pupil of His eye.” Deuteronomy 32:10

Target your visitors (pun intended) - A Side Note

I was running some errands the other day and I ended up at my favorite place, Target. I'm there a lot and I use to work at the portrait studio so I even know some people who work there. I know what to expect from a Target experience. Or so I thought...

I was stopped not once, not twice, but three times by Target employees asking me if I needed help finding anything. This was new. I was *this* close to asking the girl who checked me out if there was a new, "talk to your costumers!" policy, but was distracted by a diet coke... anyway.

I know that it wasn't a coincidence that suddenly the Target people were so concerned about my Target shopping experience. Someone told them to do this and they did.

Skip forward two days. Here I am visiting churches again. The man at the door welcomed me warmly shaking my hand and telling me he loved my smile and he hoped it was contagious. Really this is more than I've come to expect even from the "greeters" usually they say "good morning" and thrust a Sunday morning program in your hand. However, despite the friendly guy at the door again NO ONE talked to me.

Now I understand that "a man who has friends must himself be friendly" I need to step out of my comfort zone (because getting up early, driving to a new church and walking in a all alone isn't out of my comfort zone — ah, the sweet taste of sarcasm) and talk to others. However, I think that if the Target employees can do a better job of making me feel welcome than the body of Christ... we have a problem. Is it a wonder Target is my favorite place and churches have left me a little bruised? (Okay, okay Target does have cute shoes, but still)

I know I harp on the "people don't greet visitors" issue often, but to me it is a big deal. So I want to say this to all of you who have a church home. Talk to the people around you!

Seriously, look around, do you know the people nearest you? Yes? Great, then say hello to your friends and love on them. No? Than for pity sake talk to them! "But what if they aren't visitors and they go to church here?" Again I ask, do you know them? If not then talk to them. So maybe they're a member of your church you've never met, now you have.

Don't just ask these visitors "how are you?" or say, "good morning" Try asking them if they live nearby or what brings them here today. Do they have little kids with them? Say, "Hey, I'd love to introduce you to so-and-so, they work with the kids here." Or is she a young single woman? Say, "Could I introduce you to so-and-so she leads a women bible study." You have spent only 5-10 minutes of your life and have maybe impacted them for a long time. Think I'm over exaggerating? I'm not.

What if it is a family who hasn't gone to church in years and you get to show them that Christians care?

Or what if it is a young couple that just moved to the area and they don't know anyone? You could be the first friend they make in a new place.

What if it is an unsaved person who somehow talked himself into going to church? You could be an example of a God they have never known.

Or what if it is a young woman who is having trouble believing that the church in America is even working, someone who has been hurt by other Christians? You could be the person who shows her love when she's given up on it.

What if?

Just a thought people, but shouldn't we as followers of the one true God be able to make people feel more welcome than the local Target does? Here is your chance, don't let it slip by you. I hope that when I finally find a church to call home I don’t let it slip by me.


"Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin."
James 4:17

Church White-Out

When my older sister was shopping for a wedding dress a salesman told us about a common problem brides-to-be have. He called it "white out", when a bride has tried on so many dresses she starts to forget them and they all start looking the same. I am having a similar problem with churches I visit.

Isn't that the same fun and modern projected background I saw last week? Aren't those ultra trendy sermon slides familiar? Nice, "look I'm young and cool" polo every pastor is wearing. I swear I've seen this same worship team before, young stylish lead singer, older male guitar player, bald drummer, one young female backup singer, one plump female backup singer (to prove we don't care what you look like). Seriously, which church is which!?!

Good thing I've been blogging to keep them straight!

This brings me to church #... what? 5? Yeah, Church #5. This church is super close to where I live. So "whoot!" for that. I had heard that I wouldn't get a very deep sermon at this church, but chose to give it a go anyway. I loved it. I mean it was very similar to the other churches I've visited and the worship leader looked so familiar I think he may be following me around and leading worship at every church I'm visiting... or I use to serve him coffee when I worked at Starbucks.

However, the sermon wasn't shallow it was... homey and comfortable. I felt like it was a devotional time, like when I was growing up and us kids would get up early for “Bible time” with my dad. And though it was easy and simple it was profound. I felt like he had just started talking when he wrapped things up, I could have listened longer.

The whole church kind of gave me this feel, comfortable and easy. Though that doesn't make since becuase the church is really quite large. I enjoyed my time there. It is in the top 2 or 3 churches on my list.

Of course every church has flaws (like not talking to visitors), the most noticeable drawback I saw at Church # 5 was how quick the attendees (ha ha, there has got to be a better term for us) left the service! They closed with one last worship song, but since the pastor had gone over a little in his sermon (I didn’t even notice) the people just rushed out of there ASAP! Here is the church. Here is the steeple. Open it up and--what the heck! It is like a stampede what’s wrong with these people?

A handful of others and I stayed and sang the last song. Then I got to the parking lot and saw why the rush. Getting out of that parking lot was like trying to get a 9 year old Meagan out of the Cabbage Patch aisle at Toys R Us… it ain’t happening.

Okay, so now I have a bunch of churches that I pretty much like and all seem very similar, so what now? I have to tell you Church #3/Church #3.0 (see blog entry "Detour") has a leg up on the competition. Their woman’s ministry type staff person sent me and email saying how happy she was that I visited the church and giving me a list of Life Groups near my home as well as the names and phone numbers of those Life Group leaders. She called me too and left a voice mail. I’m telling you if one of those Life Group leaders calls me this may be a done deal.

Anyway, next week visiting Church #1 again with a friend. Until then I’m going to try to sort out in my head what I liked about each church and really cover this with prayer. No church white-out for me!

Detour

My alarm went off on time, I just didn’t get up or hit snooze, I just turned it off. Don’t know what I was thinking, but I guess I expected to just miraculously wake up. As it was, I woke up pretty much when I should have been getting in the car to go to Church #4. I literally got ready for church in 5 minutes and just felt grateful I had already printed out directions beforehand. I love walking into a new church looking like I have a hangover. Nice.

To make things more difficult, on my way to church I had to forgo the previously printed directions because of a big reddish-orange sign in my way, it read: “Detour”. Sigh. Needless to say I got to Church #4 a little late.

Church # 4 was nothing like I expected. First of all I felt like I was walking into a miniature mall or a large movie theater. I had no idea it was so big until I got there and walked down the stairs to the worship center while a big light projected the sermon series title on the wall above the worship center doors. Good Sunday to look like (as my mother would say) “a poor orphan child”.

As far as what I thought about Church #4? I thoroughly enjoyed the sermon. I mean I felt like the Lord was using this pastor to talk directly to me. He spoke about God’s glory coming out of our hardships. Not in an oppressive “God wants bad things to happen to you so He can look good” kind of way, but a comforting “God is in control” kind of way. I wish I could go to church some Sunday without crying, but that is looking impossible.

If I was going to be nitpick-y about things I’d say I was unimpressed by the “special music” numbers. Not that they weren't done well, I just hate… hum that is a strong word… I just have an aversion to “special music”. I want us all to worship together and I hate (yeah, hate works here) anything that seems like a performance at church. I’m not saying this church had the spirit of performance, just that I’m gun-shy about that. I had a bad experience!

After crying at Church # 4 I got in my car and drove to Church #3. Visiting their second service this week. Want to know the best part of my morning? Those 25 minutes or so in my car between churches listening to and singing with worship music on the radio in my car. I swear to you that those moments of worship just between me and my Lord are just as much “church” as anywhere that I am visiting.

Church # 3 gave me a name tag again, but besides that it seemed like a different church. The worship team was different, the people were younger, and I promise the room was brighter. I wasn’t prepared for such a difference between services. In fact it was so different I am calling the second service Church # 3.0. Again though, it felt good to be among the people of God. I got another good sermon, a reminder that we all fit together as the body of Christ. Which brings me to a question: Is each individual church “The body of Christ”? To hear pastors talk you would think so. Or could one church be a hand, while another church is a foot and maybe we all need each other? Just a thought.

Anyway, despite two services pointing towards our wonderful savior I went home feeling kind of down. A feeling that I’m still struggling with today. I feel like there are plenty of good churches to go to, but I don’t know where I belong! I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I guess eventually I’m just going to have to make a choice and pray that it is where God wants me, even if I don’t have that emotional tug I was hoping for.

I feel like my life is taking a little detour of its own. But instead of clearly marked orange signs with arrows telling me how to get back to the road I need, I just have ambiguous signs that could point anywhere. So what do I do? I really don’t’ know. But I’m going to pray about it. I have one more church for sure that I want to visit. So next week I’m on to Church #5 and I think I’ll even have a friend who is also looking for a church join me, so that will be nice. Until then I’m going to just trust that God knows where this detour is going, even if I don’t.

Filling Church

You how know sometimes you are hungry and you don't know that you are hungry? Then you pop a handful of cheddar goldfish or a few grapes in your mouth and as soon as they reach your stomach you realize, "Holy cannoli! I'm hungry!" Mmmmm, connolis...

Well that was what I was reminded of yesterday at church. Once I started visiting churches I discovered this new passion to worship and then last week I was out of town and was unable to go to church. Meaning that yesterday during service I realized how hungry I was for worship! I didn't even know how badly I needed it until I got a little taste.

This brings me to “Church #3”… the church I said I wouldn’t go too. In fact I didn’t 100% decided to go to this church until about 30 minutes before I left home on Sunday morning. I had the directions to and service times of two churches and chose “Church #3” at the last moment. It was one that I had heard a lot about and felt I needed to at least try. I’m really glad I did.

First of all, I walked in and found everyone there wearing name tags, and then a girl about my age turned to me and said, “Your name?” So I told her and found myself one of the many name-tagged people milling about. I thought this might be something special they were doing this morning, that it might tie into the service or message or something, but no. I left still not having any idea why we all had name tags (actually I walked around Target for a while after church with the name tag on. Awkward).

However, besides the name tag confusion (which really didn’t help me get to know anyone any better that any other church I’ve visited) the church had another little twist. They sang about two songs before the message and the rest at the end of the service. I must confess I liked ending on that note (no pun intended).

Maybe it was because I was hungry for it, but worshiping in song with “Church #3” was exactly what I needed. It reminded me of the best meal I’ve had in my life... seafood in Galveston. My family had to wait so long for a table and it was already so late when we got there that we were extremely hungry when the food was served. Best. Shrimp. Ever. So I don’t know if the worship was that amazing or if it was good timing, but I left on high. It was like eating a great seafood meal (I love seafood) after a long diet of bread and water.

I felt this way at “Church # 1” as well, but I think it was intensified this week because I’m actually begining to expect it (that’s been a long time coming). NOT that I think you have to be at a church service to have these times of worship, but I do think there is something special about corporate worship (oh, I see another blog coming).

Also this church, though bigger than my former home church, seemed close; like it wouldn’t be hard too meet people there. Not that I did meet people. I was still the one introducing myself during the welcome time. I don’t think anyone would have told me there name if I hadn’t lead with, “Hi! I’m Meagan”, but of course they had name tags on, so why tell me there name!?!

The teaching there, though not as magnetic as “Church #1”, was biblically sound and not just the surface fluff I expected from this church (or churches in general to be honest). It was a good, deep sermon showing the links between the Old Testament and Jesus. Very cool.

With all that being said, I think if I time it well and don’t get lost next week I can visit the church that was almost “Church # 3” and still make it to the actual “Church # 3” for its second service. It certainly earned a second try. Oh! Also, just as a side note, they didn’t offer me coffee, but they do have a coffee bar. So they fed my need for worship and my thirst for coffee. Kudos my friends, kudos.

Standing Still - A Side Note

So a colleague of mine sent me this YouTube video, I reminder of how important it is for us as a business to stay on the cutting edge of what is going on. Especially since the non-profit I work for caters to young people in middle and high school.

As I watched this video at work I got really stirred up. Anyone who knows me well has heard my rant about: How society is changing faster now that it ever has before an how the church is standing still.

Yes, people of older generations lived through big changes during their youth, automobiles, computers the size of a room, the internet, man walking on the moon. But young people today experience more changes. MUCH more. Today to be in the present means to be forward thinking.

So what does any of this have to do with church hunting? I'll tell you. I want a church that recognizes the changing world they are caught up in and desires to be leading the change instead of following it. I mean come on! As Christians we should be more creative, more driven and more inspired than anyone (Ex. 35:31-32). Why are we always copying the secular world and not the other way around?

I would like to mention that this doesn't mean I am pro-anything new and anti-anything old. I don't want to be part of a "seeker-friendly" church that is just doing what is new to be doing it, to add numbers. A church that is a mile wide and an inch deep. There has to be purpose and vision (Ps. 29:18). But I also refuse to be part of a local congregation that does what it has always done "because it has always been good enough before" (Mark 7:6-7). No, just because it worked in the past does not mean it will work in these ever shifting times. As mentioned before, this is a soapbox of mine... sorry if I seem to be going on about it.

The last statement in this video is, “So what does it all mean?” I think that is an excellent question the modern church of America should be asking. What does this mean for us? What does it mean for the saved and unsaved people we want to reach? After talking to my mother about this she asked, “So what should churches do?”

Well, the first step is recognizing the world we are in and reevaluating what we do and why we do it. Let us not do ANYTHING because we want to do it, that leads to a church built on performance (Col. 3:17). Let’s be realistic and realize that if we want the church to be applicable to this generation and generations to come, maybe we need to find a new way to teach old truths (Acts 17:16-34, Matt.10:16). I’m not saying changing the truth of the gospel, but finding a new way to present it. Above all else we have a creative, ingenuous God who we are to follow. Let’s start by not putting Him in a box of tradition or in the box of the shiny and new.

Okay, soapbox over. For now. :D

Sunday on the 4th of July

This past weekend I opted to visit a church much closer to me, namely “Church #2”. Not only is the church closer, its service starts a little latter which equals more sleep time for me. Meaning this church was already starting with some brownie points! However, things started going south when I walked into the worship center.

Now when I say “things went south” that is exactly what I mean, they went southern. No joke, if I had forgotten I lived in the south this church was here to reminded me. Please note, I’m not saying this is a bad thing, just unexpected. My first clue that something southern was a brewin’ was the red, white and blue.

I had completely forgotten that it was the 4th of July; I know this is not only un-American, but also un-Texan of me. However, I was reminded when I walked in and every single person there was wearing red, white or blue. I’m not just talking about the staff, or just the pastor, or just the worship team. The whole congregation had gotten on the patriotic band wagon. As I looked down at my black, gray and blue dress I couldn’t decided if it was a good or bad thing that I accidentally kinda fit in.

However, my blue camouflage didn’t stop everyone from noticing that I was there and that I was not one of them (oh the joys of visiting a small church). This did lead one woman sitting behind me to talk to me before the service started though. She asked my name and if I lived around there. It wasn’t the offer of a cup of coffee I was looking for, but it might as well as been, she was so warm and happy I was there that it gave the whole morning a great start.

This was the beginning of a truly patriotic church service. Now I understand that being patriotic on the 4th of July is an American thing as a whole, but I don’t think I’m wrong in thinking that it is even a bigger deal in the south. I never remember dressing in red, white or blue for church when I lived in Colorado… but down here it is natural.

Anyway moving on, the worship at this church was fun plain fun. The congregation was all into the music, everyone clapping and singing, some jumping up and down. I loved it. I also loved the beautiful country twang that the female worship pastor sang in. Made me proud to be in the south on the 4th! Of course most, if not all, of the songs we sang had to have to word “freedom” in them. I couldn’t help but wonder how many churches across the Bible Belt were singing Chris Tomlin’s version of Amazing Grace that morning just because of the phrase in the chorus, “My chains are gone, I've been set free!”

After this rip-roaring time of worship the pastor came up and gave us the sermon… It wasn’t what I’d classify as a “sermon”, it was more of a David Barton-esque type teaching time. I would count him as a very appealing history teacher if I had him as a professor at college, but for me a sermon on the Christianity and faith of our founding fathers (using the declaration of independence as his text) while interesting, isn’t the spiritual guidance I’m looking for in a Sunday sermon.

So after the sermon and taking communion (because it is the first Sunday of the month… again this is a subject I could do a whole blog on, where in the Bible do we get this “communion once a month thing”? But I digress) and some just plain good ol’ patriotic songs at the end of the service, I slipped out before anyone could catch me.

On a side note, something that concerned me about this church was they had a good representation of youth in their service, especially for a church of their size. Yet, they had no single or college age people that I could detect. I’m always concerned about a church that has a healthy youth group, but then can’t keep them after they graduate… just a thought to ponder.

In the end I can say, I liked this church. It was a place where everyone knew and loved each other, but it isn’t the church for me. So for now it is back to googling churches and asking everyone I know if they have heard of “this church” or “that church”. Next week I’ll be out of town and after that I have two potential “Church # 3”s. I don’t know what it is exactly that I’m looking for, but I hope to recognize it when I see it.

Church Blind Dating

Church hunting for me is a lot like guy hunting. You have a list of what you want, a list of what you don’t want, and absolutely no experience to tell you how it find any of it...

There are other similarities as well. Looking up “How to find a church” on Google is about as helpful as looking up “How to find a guy”. Not that I’ve tried either… Also, you are more likely to give a church, like a guy, a chance if it/he comes recommended by a friend. This of course brings me to another similarity. Very few people have church suggestions for me! (infer what you will).

You see, I’ve never looked for a church before. NEVER. So I don’t really know how to do it. Sure, I’ve visited churches in the past with my family. But it was my parents who decided where to go (how did they do that exactly?). We would discus as a family how we felt about each church we went to, but it came down to my parents to make the choice. This luckily is where the church/guy comparison breaks down. My parents never handpicked any guys for me. Actually… that might have been okay. Anyway, I ramble.

All this being said I have visited one church twice already. People ask me if I like it, and sure, yes I do. I’d go back and probably will. But I’m not the kind of girl that can say yes to the first church she visits. So I need to find others to try. And I’m picky, which is no surprise to me, making this whole process a bit of a hassle. Not to mention the fact that Sunday only rolls around once a week, so visiting several churches takes time!

Anyway, my thoughts on the first church I’ve visited. We will call it (drum roll please) “Church # 1” Oooooh, ahhhh! Beeeeeeeeeautiful!

I LOVE the teaching there. LOVE it. It has been exactly what I need to hear at this point in my life. All about grace and how Jesus + Nothing = Everything. Both Sundays there I wanted to cry at some point because the message spoke so directly to my truth starved soul.

The time of worshiping in song has been good too, I don’t know the songs yet, but I’m getting there. Plus, I feel like there is no pretense in the worship team, which let’s face it people, can be a rare thing in churches today. I could do a whole blog about that, but I won’t.

The biggest problem with this church so far (besides the fact that it is kind of a drive) is that no one has really talked to me there, I mean a turnaround-shake-your-hand-obligatory “hello” during the greeting time, but that is it. I fear this is going to be a problem I face a lot.

Do you know how much it takes for me to get up early, get fancied up for church, drive 30 minutes to get there and then walk into a church all alone? After all of this I’d really like someone to want to ask me, "What brings you here today?" or "Tell me about yourself" or "Do you want a cup of coffee?" Okay fine, that last one isn't practical, but still, say more than, "Good morning!" Something! Anything! However, if I did choose this church I’d get plugged into ministry and meet people that way. I guess.

This coming Sunday I’m trying a place a little closer to home, I’ll spice things up and call this church… “Church # 2”. Wow, jump back.

The information I have on “Church # 2” is very limited, I randomly found it while looking for a different church online. I’d compare going to this church to going on a blind date with a guy who you only know because you Facebook creeped his profile page. Meaning, I’ve looked their website all up and down and can’t find any theological flaws. Plus, I saw some things I really liked. So Thundercats are go! Yeah. I’ll keep you posted on how that goes, for all 2 of you who read this (Hi Mom!).

Really this blog is mostly to help me sort through what I’m thinking and planning. I want to be where God leads me, but evaluating things never hurts… I don’t think. So one church down… God knows how many left to go (literally, He knows). :D