The End Of The World

So my twitter and Tumblr feeds are already being filled with Rapture jokes. Because, you know, there is little funnier than the end of the world!

One of my favorite quips is the suggestion to get Chick-Fil-A today since all its workers will be Raptured tomorrow. And I love the idea I got from Tumblr of leaving a pair of shoes somewhere with some dry ice in them (he he). Also, my favorite shoe brand is having an "End of the World" sale, because you should look good if the end is coming.

I’m ignoring the comments about how the world would be a better place if all the Christians were indeed Raptured (hurtful!).

I have to say with all this, I am really looking forward to all the Jesus Jukes that are coming. I mean, when Osama was killed it started a fierce Twitter debate over how Christians should respond, accompanied by Bible verses and fake quotes from famous dead people. I anticipate to no less from Rapture Day 2011.

So in preparation for the expected world’s end (man, I thought that was going down in 2012) I have made a few lists. One list is just for me and contains things I need to do before the twinkling of an eye. Included are things like: Make sure I’m caught up on “The Big Bang Theory” (the show, not the actually theory), clean my room (I’d hate to leave a mess behind) and find a heathen to take care of my dog (unless it is true that all dogs go to heaven).

However, the list I’d like to share with all of you is my predictions for what will be the most popular tweets/Facebook statuses tomorrow. Here we go:

Verses:
- Matthew 24:36 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

- 1 Thessalonians 5:2 “For you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.”

- 2 Peter 3:10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, in which the heavens will pass away with a roar and the elements will be destroyed with intense heat, and the earth and its works will be burned up."

Fake Quotes:
- “The reports of my Rapture are greatly exaggerated" – Mark Twain

- “Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today, besides the Rapture.” – Mark Twain

- “I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to be Raptured.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Okay, yeah… so I may tweet some of those myself.

Meanwhile, on Sunday morning when we are all still here and sitting in church I sincerely hope some pastor out there makes a joke about how not as many people as expected were taken and what a bummer it is that his whole church is still here (that guy would be hilarious). Then someone can live Jesus Juke him with Matthew 24:36.

What will your Facebook status be?