Judge A Church By The Cover - A Side Note

Back to the drawing board. Time for a new batch of churches,so how do I find them? I don’t know. The only thing I can think of is cranking up the old Internet search engine.

I am now going to talk about how I judge a church by its website, this may be similar to judging a book by its cover, which I know we are cautioned not to do. However, judging a book by its cover has generally worked for me.

I would like to say these are my opinions and I don’t mean to offend you, your church, or your church web-site… but here we go!

The Cons:

1) The bad website. If I log onto “First Church Of the Bible” and the website looks like it was put together on paintbrush, has blinking coursers, or generally appears to be done for approximately $.75, I immediately hit the back key and return to Google.

This is a church’s first impression. If they can’t even keep up with the current culture by having an up-to date website, why should I think anything in your church is going to meet me where I am? I’m not on board with all “seeker-friendly” churches, but I don’t want “seeker repellent” either.

2) The pastor driven church. I don’t know about other places in the US, but in Texas this is a big ol’ problem. While I may cringe at a website that has a whole tab just for the pastor I could let it go if the church has some pluses that outweigh that. However, if every page I go to on your site has a picture of said pastor of if you keep mentioning him in your text, I am out of there! I am looking for a church, not a pastor with an ego trip.

3) The Pastor/Director discrepancy. Okay, “Christ Baptist Non-Denominational Church” if you have a senior pastor, an associate pastor, a youth pastor and a children’s director. That’s a no.

If you are going to hire a male to be youth “pastor” and a female to do the same job with the children and call her a “director” then we have some hypocrisy here. If you really don’t believe in female pastors, then at least be constant and if a person has the same job call them both directors (though I doubt you’ll find many guys willing to be “youth director”). This however, is a personal preference and I have found that I can't completely discount churches because of it. But I do think it is a point churches should consider. (Most or you just stopped reading, huh?)

4) The crazy and/or vague church beliefs. If the church passes the initial impression test the first thing I do is check out their beliefs page (especially if it is a non-dom, I like non-denominational churches, but some of them are just loco).

If the church can’t nail down its beliefs, has more about where they want to go than what they believe, of generally says craziness— such as “we believe in actual baptism by water and fire”. *gulp* Then sianara to you!

As you can see the four points above severely limit my church selection. However, there is good news too! See below.

The Pros:

1) The welcoming first impression. I love church websites that have an “I’m new” or “What to expect” section. This usually gives me the highlights of what I want to know about a church in one place. Plus, it lets me know that this church understands that many people today look for churches online!

2) The people driven church. A church website that shows they have ministries for kids, youth, college (this is kind of rare), singles (this probably replaces “college”), life groups, women, men, etc… is very attractive. While I know this can be harder for smaller churches I know it isn’t impossible.

On a side note, a church that puts heavy emphases on life groups is really awesome. Since a lot of churches don’t have Sunday school anymore, life groups (or whatever that church calls their equivalent) are really the way to get to know people in a church.

3) The artistic church. This truly is a personal preference and doesn’t rule churches out. But I’m a little artsy myself and the few churches I’ve run across that say something about honoring God through arts makes my heart pitter-patter. Again, this is rare and not a must, but I do like it a lot!

4) The church with solid Biblical beliefs. This is a game changer. A church that sets up its beliefs with scripture verses to back them up hits a home run. When they know what they believe and it really does line up with the word of God then, “Whoo hoo!”

Even if for some other reason I choose not to go to this church or if I visit there a little while and then move on, it is so encouraging to find a church that knows God’s word. This is essential to me. If we don’t have this we have nothing.

Yeah, well this means I have not the foggiest idea of where I’m going next Sunday. But I have two churches I’m going to call this week and grill. I chose not to make this post even longer by listing the questions I’m going to ask potential churches. But I’ve never called before I visit, so it should be… interesting.

Church Homeless

The body of Christ—it is everywhere. It isn’t just in a church building, a small group, a Bible study, or a youth group. It is an undeniable, unbreakable connection we have with all believers—everywhere.

I am a part of the body of Christ with my Christian co-workers. I am part of the body of Christ with my Christian friends. I am part of the body of Christ with my Christian family members. So why do I feel so… homeless, familyless, uh… bodyless?

So last Sunday I re-visited Church #1 with a friend… who I think I will call… Elaine. It was really encouraging to visit a church with a buddy! Driving to and from the church with Elaine and sitting with her during service was much better than being alone. Oh, and I seriously I think more people greeted us during the greet ‘n’ meet since we were two people and not just little ol’ me.

The sermon was about spouses and children, with the usual tag of, “If you are single this is still for you, you’ll need it someday” (Uh… yeah, sure).However, what stood out to me this past Sunday was this whole body of Christ thing. I’m not looking to join the right body. I’m already part of it! So if I drive out 30 minutes to Church #1 or go to a closer church the point (for me) is to find a healthy place of worship. A place where I can get together with part of the body of Christ and we can encourage each other and learn from one another. A place to call home.

However, this thought made me consider how I am treating the body members I already know…

A co-worker of mine has been… grating my nerves, to say it nicely. Now strangely enough if this person was a non-believer I would be more patient with them; they may or may not know better and they certainly don’t have the power of the Holy Spirit to guide them. But since I know this person is a believer, it really ticks me off! I want to look at this person and say, “Treat me with respect or step off. I don’t need you.” However, out of professionalism (not brotherly love) I refrain.

Here I am week after week faithfully looking for a place to call a church home, but then I can’t even treat the Christians already in my life well? Treat and more importantly (for me at least) think of them as if we were all just small parts of a larger whole and need each other. Trust me, sometimes my actions may be polite but my thoughts are in a swirling chaos of sarcasm and insults. Mmmm sarcasm, my weapon of choice.

I want a church home I really do, but maybe right now I’m should use this time to work on other things in my life. Like. I don’t know.... my frustration issues? Also a friend told me this week, that maybe this time of being church homeless is a time for me to rest and heal.

I think my impatience and frustration with believers (I can always think of a way to tear the church down) is because I'm not letting myself... get over some stuff.

Recently I’ve been having a lot of conversations about forgiveness and how you have to forgive to be able to move on. And when it comes to forgiveness in the body of Christ it is extra important. If I stay mad at a co-worker, churches or other Christians— it hurts me! And it is dumb. Does the eye sit around not forgiving the foot? Or does the hand say to the elbow, "I'm not talking to you right now."? I think not.


“The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don't need you!’…. If one part suffers,every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” 1 Corinthians 12:21,26

As grateful as am I for Elaine and not having to visit church alone last Sunday, I also need to appreciate and love the other Christians in my life. In this time of waiting to feel at home again, I need to forgive the Christians in my life who may have hurt me. And I need to trust that God has a plan and that He is doing much greater things than I am aware of.


“He found him in a desert land, And in the howling waste of a wilderness; He encircled him, He cared for him, He guarded him as the pupil of His eye.” Deuteronomy 32:10

Target your visitors (pun intended) - A Side Note

I was running some errands the other day and I ended up at my favorite place, Target. I'm there a lot and I use to work at the portrait studio so I even know some people who work there. I know what to expect from a Target experience. Or so I thought...

I was stopped not once, not twice, but three times by Target employees asking me if I needed help finding anything. This was new. I was *this* close to asking the girl who checked me out if there was a new, "talk to your costumers!" policy, but was distracted by a diet coke... anyway.

I know that it wasn't a coincidence that suddenly the Target people were so concerned about my Target shopping experience. Someone told them to do this and they did.

Skip forward two days. Here I am visiting churches again. The man at the door welcomed me warmly shaking my hand and telling me he loved my smile and he hoped it was contagious. Really this is more than I've come to expect even from the "greeters" usually they say "good morning" and thrust a Sunday morning program in your hand. However, despite the friendly guy at the door again NO ONE talked to me.

Now I understand that "a man who has friends must himself be friendly" I need to step out of my comfort zone (because getting up early, driving to a new church and walking in a all alone isn't out of my comfort zone — ah, the sweet taste of sarcasm) and talk to others. However, I think that if the Target employees can do a better job of making me feel welcome than the body of Christ... we have a problem. Is it a wonder Target is my favorite place and churches have left me a little bruised? (Okay, okay Target does have cute shoes, but still)

I know I harp on the "people don't greet visitors" issue often, but to me it is a big deal. So I want to say this to all of you who have a church home. Talk to the people around you!

Seriously, look around, do you know the people nearest you? Yes? Great, then say hello to your friends and love on them. No? Than for pity sake talk to them! "But what if they aren't visitors and they go to church here?" Again I ask, do you know them? If not then talk to them. So maybe they're a member of your church you've never met, now you have.

Don't just ask these visitors "how are you?" or say, "good morning" Try asking them if they live nearby or what brings them here today. Do they have little kids with them? Say, "Hey, I'd love to introduce you to so-and-so, they work with the kids here." Or is she a young single woman? Say, "Could I introduce you to so-and-so she leads a women bible study." You have spent only 5-10 minutes of your life and have maybe impacted them for a long time. Think I'm over exaggerating? I'm not.

What if it is a family who hasn't gone to church in years and you get to show them that Christians care?

Or what if it is a young couple that just moved to the area and they don't know anyone? You could be the first friend they make in a new place.

What if it is an unsaved person who somehow talked himself into going to church? You could be an example of a God they have never known.

Or what if it is a young woman who is having trouble believing that the church in America is even working, someone who has been hurt by other Christians? You could be the person who shows her love when she's given up on it.

What if?

Just a thought people, but shouldn't we as followers of the one true God be able to make people feel more welcome than the local Target does? Here is your chance, don't let it slip by you. I hope that when I finally find a church to call home I don’t let it slip by me.


"Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin."
James 4:17

Church White-Out

When my older sister was shopping for a wedding dress a salesman told us about a common problem brides-to-be have. He called it "white out", when a bride has tried on so many dresses she starts to forget them and they all start looking the same. I am having a similar problem with churches I visit.

Isn't that the same fun and modern projected background I saw last week? Aren't those ultra trendy sermon slides familiar? Nice, "look I'm young and cool" polo every pastor is wearing. I swear I've seen this same worship team before, young stylish lead singer, older male guitar player, bald drummer, one young female backup singer, one plump female backup singer (to prove we don't care what you look like). Seriously, which church is which!?!

Good thing I've been blogging to keep them straight!

This brings me to church #... what? 5? Yeah, Church #5. This church is super close to where I live. So "whoot!" for that. I had heard that I wouldn't get a very deep sermon at this church, but chose to give it a go anyway. I loved it. I mean it was very similar to the other churches I've visited and the worship leader looked so familiar I think he may be following me around and leading worship at every church I'm visiting... or I use to serve him coffee when I worked at Starbucks.

However, the sermon wasn't shallow it was... homey and comfortable. I felt like it was a devotional time, like when I was growing up and us kids would get up early for “Bible time” with my dad. And though it was easy and simple it was profound. I felt like he had just started talking when he wrapped things up, I could have listened longer.

The whole church kind of gave me this feel, comfortable and easy. Though that doesn't make since becuase the church is really quite large. I enjoyed my time there. It is in the top 2 or 3 churches on my list.

Of course every church has flaws (like not talking to visitors), the most noticeable drawback I saw at Church # 5 was how quick the attendees (ha ha, there has got to be a better term for us) left the service! They closed with one last worship song, but since the pastor had gone over a little in his sermon (I didn’t even notice) the people just rushed out of there ASAP! Here is the church. Here is the steeple. Open it up and--what the heck! It is like a stampede what’s wrong with these people?

A handful of others and I stayed and sang the last song. Then I got to the parking lot and saw why the rush. Getting out of that parking lot was like trying to get a 9 year old Meagan out of the Cabbage Patch aisle at Toys R Us… it ain’t happening.

Okay, so now I have a bunch of churches that I pretty much like and all seem very similar, so what now? I have to tell you Church #3/Church #3.0 (see blog entry "Detour") has a leg up on the competition. Their woman’s ministry type staff person sent me and email saying how happy she was that I visited the church and giving me a list of Life Groups near my home as well as the names and phone numbers of those Life Group leaders. She called me too and left a voice mail. I’m telling you if one of those Life Group leaders calls me this may be a done deal.

Anyway, next week visiting Church #1 again with a friend. Until then I’m going to try to sort out in my head what I liked about each church and really cover this with prayer. No church white-out for me!